October 1, 2008

Princess My Ass!

This has no direct correlation to my time or travels in Scotland. It does have to do with the fact that I was writing a parody on princesses for a potential flash fiction piece to turn in for class. The good writer that I am, I did a little research on my princesses, just to make sure that I had all of their stories straight before I went ahead and made fun of them. Lucky for me, I came across The Official Disney Princess Website, and all the regulars were there: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc. etc. But there was also Mulan. Excuse me, but she is not a princess. Her parents were not royalty, and she did not marry a prince. She married a military captain...not a prince. And don't give me that crap about how all little girls are princesses. There are seven actual Disney princesses and one poser. Some were lucky, like Belle, who married into royalty. Cinderella really had to work for it, literally had to work scrubbing floors for her evil stepmother, but she married the prince. Others were fortunate enough to be born into it, like Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Snow White, Jasmine, and Pocahontas. And Ariel is actually a double princess because she was King Triton's daughter and then she married Prince Eric. Now, Mulan? She dressed up like a man, fought in a war, and talked to a miniature dragon. She's like a mix of Hilary Swank and Dr. Dolittle (neither of whom are a princess).
I wouldn't be this outraged if it weren't for the fact that one very important Disney Princess is missing from the list - possibly my favorite! How about Princess Tiger Lily?!? Just because she doesn't star in her own movie doesn't make her any less of a princess. Yeah so it's a movie all about a boy, Peter Pan, and she plays the third supporting lady after the lead: Tinkerbell, and the second lead: Wendy. Don't even get me started on how Disney loves Tinkerbell (and pairs her with Cinderella's Castle for all of their advertising... they're from two totally different fairy tales - what's that about?) But give the girl some respect. She's more of a princess than Mulan will ever be! Is this because we can't have two Disney Native American Princesses? Or maybe because we have to fill our quota of Chinese Princesses, so they just threw in the first Chinese female cartoon that was drawn? Is Disney trying to be PC and not offend the Asian community by excluding Mulan from the Princess list? So instead they give her the princess pity vote? Whatever, Disney, just get TIger Lily on that list and maybe I'll forgive you for your Mulan slip. Next thing you know you'll be putting Alice in Wonderland up there, or Bambi, or Mary Poppins!


Princess Goodwich said...

In my book its always safe to use Hilary Swank when you want to dis someone!

Kara said...

Bambi is a boy, so I'd be prettttty shocked if he went on the princess list